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The Un-Wedding

March 31, 2010

Is the thought of planning a wedding so daunting it gives you a headache to think about it?  Are you nervous about expressing your undying love for your partner in front of hundreds of people?  Do you have a hard time justifying spending a few thousand dollars on flowers?  If so, you’re not alone.  More and more couples are opting into a phenomenon we like to call the “un-wedding.”  The un-wedding is a non-traditional, small gathering of just a couple’s closest friends and family, and is a perfect fit for those looking for an intimate, personal celebration.

There are a variety of ways to have an “un-wedding,” while still making it a special celebration, one of the most popular being the destination wedding. Because destination weddings are typically in far away locations, they naturally lend themselves toward smaller guest lists, as the cost per guest tends to be higher, and guests are also required to travel and make a larger time commitment.

Having a destination wedding is also a nice way to have a small ceremony, without offending those who are close to you.  Just say “we’d love to have everyone there, but we are getting married in Mexico, and will only be inviting our immediate families to cut down on the expense,” or “we really want to get married on the Colorado ski slope where he proposed, and it would be difficult to coordinate travel arrangements for more than 10 guests.”

Another fun way to keep your wedding ceremony intimate, is to have a backyard, beach, or even courthouse wedding with just your fiance and a few guests, then have a large party with family and friends afterward. This way, you can keep your ceremony intimate, budget friendly, and stress-free; and celebrate in grand-style with your loved ones later.

Although un-weddings are non-traditional, be sure to retain any aspect of a traditional wedding that is important to you. At a recent event, Mojuba spoke with a woman who had a small ceremony on an island off the coast of Florida. She said the ceremony was perfect, except that she and her husband did not hire a videographer, and have regretted it ever since. Really think through your un-wedding, to ensure you have no regrets. If you really want a fancy dress, go for it; and if your grandma has been like a second mother to you, make sure she is invited.

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